There comes a time that we’re all fed up, we hate everyone, and we want to disappear in this wicked world, and I felt it too. Sometimes, my past haunts me, and I remember every single detail of pain and regrets. How can I ever forgot those if I can remember every scenario of my life?
Even just a simple thing can lead to an all-day chaotic mind. I didn’t want it, but how can I even resist if I was born with it? I envy those people who can just let everything slide and think what they want to believe. Those people who don’t overthink a lot and chill and relax without worries; How blessed are they?
I entitled this post as It’s okay, Not to Be Okay because it is customary to encounter bad days. We are just humans who have a lot of challenges and struggles in life. But the most crucial thing in this is that we learn and grow.
Recently, my anxiety keeps on attacking me due to some unexpected events and happenings in my life. It was tough to handle because I’m so in pain. My headaches and my mind keep on flashing series of events. After such attacks, I asked myself, why? Why did I let all this happened? Why didn’t I protect myself from manipulative people? I owe so many apologies to myself for being fragile and dumb.
But now, my only wish for myself is to be okay. To stop hating other people for hurting me, to stop regretting because I trusted the people I thought I should, to stop hating myself for being weak, and to stop living in the past; Because I know that I’m the only one who can help and protect myself from everyone.
I hope this is the last time I will ever cry from the painful past that I had encountered. I also wish that I can give forgiveness to those people who hurt me multiple times. I’m not doing it for them, but I’m doing it for myself and peace of mind.